Well readers, can you believe it's Friday November 24th, 2023 and in a few weeks will be Christmas, and for many this will be a joyus occasion celebrating family, and other happy moments. As for me this will be a day of remembering when Paco went to heaven, and not a day goes by where I wish I could have been different, said things differently, lived in the moment so we could share the moment together, yet all that changed in a blink of an eye.
Now, I live from one day to one day thinking of the what if's could if's and how I will never get them back, and yet, I am continuing to move forward, to find peace and comfort in learning to live my life alone and be alone and finding solace in the quietness of the house. Will this change for me at this point and time, I am not finding the correct answer, if there is a correct answer---at this point in time...( I do not know). I just know I need to move on and find my own inner peace and joy....and if that means living alone, then so be it, and the journey will continue as is.... Thanksgiving was a day to be thankful and got to enjoy the day with my parents, and nephew and his 2 daughters who are growing up so fast...before you know it they will be grown...just as my grandchildren are growing up so fast.
It is easy to become complacent with life and changes that are occuring, however, we really need to find a balance between life, challenges, and other social activities and learn to live in the moment as that moment can be gone with a blink of an eye. I read so many stories of those who are dealing with grief, loss and learning to relive without the other...and the roads they have faced and challenges and hurdles they have overcome as well. We all face this journey alone, and yet together, and yet the words are still not easy and easy to express. To those facing this holiday alone for the first time, I understand the heartbreak the loss and the longing of how you wish it could be different. I can promise the road of sorrow will change, the tears will still flow, the love will always be there...yet you will become a different person.....
till next cher-
To my forever heaven heart! Paco. Te quiero
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